How to Prevent Another Mets Injury
You see that? That is David Wright. Although he doesn't want you to know. See the way he is dressed up? He doesn't want people to see that he is a ballplayer, much less a Met. Know why? Because he is the only everyday player not to get hurt this year for the Mets.
- Brian Schneider, catcher.
- Carlos Delgado, first baseman.
- Luis Castillo, second baseman.
- Ramon Martinez, second baseman.
- Jose Reyes, shortstop.
- Alex Cora, shortstop.
- Ryan Church, right field.
- Carlos Beltran, center field.
- Gary Sheffield, left field.
- Fernando Martinez, left field.
- Angel Pagan, left field.
- Oliver Perez, starting pitcher.
- John Maine, starting pitcher.
- J.J. Putz, reliever.
- Billy Wagner, reliever.
That's right, someone from EVERY position has gotten hurt this year. Except third base. Except David Wright. And the strangest injury? Luis Castillo's. Last night, he fell down the dugout steps. You gotta be kidding me. You'd think they've been hanging around Carl Pavano or something.
Before, I blamed the Mets trainors and team doctors. But I finally found out who is behind all of this:
Look what he did to the Liberty Bell:
This guy is a monster. And he is proud of himself, too! Look what I caught him doing last night after Castillo went down:
He set a darn booby trap! This guy sure is sneaky! David Wright needs to get some Secret Service to protect him! But still, is that enough? Look at this:
He even got to President Bush! Man this guy is good! Look what he did to Mr. Met!
Luckily, I am here. I can save David Wright. I came up with three ways he can protect himself.
1. Dress up as Waldo.
Where's David?
2. Hire Chuck Norris.
He even has his own Yu-gi-oh card! Does the Philly Phanatic have one?
3. Practice against Jose Reyes so he knows how to win.
Uh-oh, it looks like Jose might make the Phanatic's job a bit easier.
Oh and if you see David Wright doing this:
that just means that the Phantic is giving him mercy so long as he does something embarassing.
Good luck David.
Hilarious post! I watched SportsCenter this morning and couldn't believe that you lost another pitcher as he slipped going down the dugout stairs. Unbelievable!!! I thought that you guys could start turning things around this year. I'm thinking that the fates--and Phanatics--are against you!
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Thanks for the insight on Lastings. I know I've heard all the rumblings about him too but I honestly think he has said enough is enough. he seems to be softspoken and ready to get down to business. he was hitless in his last 2 games but over the weekend he really hustled and looks to be a good ballplayer.
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Your Mets are hot. I used to follow them religiously when Shawn Green was playing with them. It's horrible that everyone has been injured except David Wright. I hope we haven't jinxed him by mentioning it. You post on the Phanatic is hilarious. Personally I can't stand whatever that creature is.
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I suggest taking bubble wrap and wrapping up all the Mets players until the season is over.
Julia
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Haha awesome post buddy. I used a Where's Waldo pic when Oliver Perez went missing earlier this year http://ashleymarshall.mlblogs.com/archives/2009/05/wheres_ollie_here_he_is.html.
They really are useful for so many stories.
Ash
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Oh, and I forgot Fernando Nieve. As of today, you can also add Jon Niese to that list.
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"He got more NY headlines than Igawa's joggin'
When he took a fall and sprained his ankle"
Come on, at least read the rap man! lol
-EJ the Kid From New York
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I knew the Phanatic was behind it somehow. Wait til I get my hands on the #$%^@*$! He stole a hot dog from me in 1989 and I'll never forget it!
--Jeff
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I have always had my suspicions about the Phanatic especially since my run-in with him, or whatever that creature is, in 1999 at Veterans Stadium that I would like to forget about. Very funny post. At this point, any explanation is possible and I still think voodoo is involved in some capacity.
-Amazin86er
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Wow, that's funny stuff. The Phillie Phanatic the reason the Mets having these problems? Well I think the Mets should pick things up a notch or two.
Matthew Tang
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